Well, yes, about me shouting rape about Anjaneya Sir, so I realised I had no way of paying my rent. So, why not see if Anjaneya can help. What’s the worst that could be? He’ll say, “No.” He’ll refuse to respond to my messages or calls, fine, keep looking for solutions. Now if I have to ask for help, I have to talk to him. I can oy sound bossy at the station. That’s why I asked him to speak outside. How do I speak like a regular person in there? He just gestured for me to move out, because I sounded demanding and aggressive instead of nice. But, I can’t sound nice at the station. I asked the other officers for a phone number. None will give that because he’ll act irritated all the time with that person for months! By the time I could ask him in person for his number, Kavita stood in the way after giving me the fake FIR Acknowledgement! All I was going to say was that it would help if I had his number, since it’s difficult to coordinate since he is the principle officer on my cases. That’s a valid reason, and a true reason. And I was too exhausted from walking streets for two nights, plus the night before, 5 different men tried soliciting me. I was clasping my head in turmoil at the station because Ajith was talking, because of those actual psychos. There were too many people crowding me at the station, and Ajith can’t deliver a proper speech even. I really needed to ask for help! A rejection from Anjaneya’s part is fine, but let me atleast ask! I was anyhow too sickened to be rude and obnoxious. I was just going to ask very matter-of-factedly. And now I am no longer visiting the station, so I have no idea how to speak to him for help. See, with his number, I can call or message personally, away from the station! I can speak calmly, because I don’t have to assert myself. So, that’s what all the “rape” nonsense was for. I just wanted to ask for help, and there was no way, I was desperate! Of course, Anjaneya Sir is not someone who will rape, not to my knowledge. To me he’s heroic, unless he does something idiotic and ruins all! Well, there’s no scope of anything happening between us in-person, because we don’t have any option to meet that way. We tried everything. Better left in the past, not that there’s any other option. I mean, he can call me, but he hasn’t. I don’t have his number, so I can’t. He doesn’t give me his nber on his own like other officers, or let other officers give me the number. Even if I do go to the station, I may forget now. He can call just to find out if I’m alright since he heard I was walking the streets, or just wanted to ask why I wanted to talk to him outside the station the day I did. That way it looks like work, and you can move the conversation in other directions, slowly, later. I get his number that way… Otherwise, he may as well just forget me. And Anjaneya came and sat in Halappa Sir and Ajith’s room, when Ajith was there, when I was trying to talk to him, because that was the only spot he could sit and be visible to me, as if I’m talking there of all places! I even wore slutty clothes to the station to seduce Anjaneya! I never dress like that to the station! And why does Ajith have his name plastered on his desk. None of the other PSIs did! But, Anjaneya can never be my boyfriend no matter what happens between us. And I am honest about that. It would never work out, besides I already have someone I call a boyfriend, who I intend to turn into a husband. Anjaneya can only be a lover to me. See, I’m upfront about everything. Besides, everything is at a level of imaginative connection, nothing in the actual world, and the latter does not seem likely also since we cannot contact eachother. Besides, we may not get along in-person. We haven’t so far, in-person. All we do is fight and shout at eachother. Impossible relationships! Sorry, Mr Anjaneya S., but the truth can scathe… I’d rather be honest, still, than leave you false hope in lies… Anjaneya should proceed only if he accepts the conditions.

Kerala toh! Already I have sent a Kerala man to jail for impotence! I destroyed another Kerala man’s life for impotence, and am yet to hang him to death! A third Kerala man had crabs! And Ginimol is a paedophile, infantile abnormal piece of shit! Why doesn’t she behave like an adult? It’s always some abnormal infantile shit! Why doesn’t she work like everyone else? She has no career! She’s retarded! Why are all Kerala people abnormal? Everyone hates them!